


It Seems About A Hundred Years Ago

by AliciasClarke (fyeahgila)



Category: The Rolling Stones
Genre: Alternate Universe - Future, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Falling In Love, Lost Love, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-14 10:43:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28669413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fyeahgila/pseuds/AliciasClarke
Summary: In the year 2057 technology allows to go back and re-live your past lives. In one of these lives, Keith was a pirate king in love with former navy man Mick. Re-living dozens of lifetimes, but never finding Mick again, Keith decides trying another new tool in order to re-connect with his soulmate...
Relationships: Mick Jagger/Keith Richards
Kudos: 12





	It Seems About A Hundred Years Ago

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [We'll have San Junipero](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10780737) by [AliciasClarke (fyeahgila)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fyeahgila/pseuds/AliciasClarke). 



> Hey guys,  
> this is an adaption of a story I originally wrote for the Black Sails fandom, called We'll have San Junipero. It's inspired by the episode of the same name on Black Mirror.   
> Last night I thought it might be a neat idea to re-write this for Mick and Keith since I have been toying with the idea of a Pirate AU for ages. I mean, Keith basically is a pirate irl, it would be a waste not to write about that, wouldn't it? ;) anyway, this could be seen as kind of a set up for that AU, if I eventually get to write it (if I ever get to write it xD). Cause the parts I added/re-wrote to fit Mick and Keith (instead of Silver and Flint in the original version) are hints on what is going to happen in the Pirate AU :D  
> Well, I hope you enjoy this! :)
> 
> The work title is a line from 100 Years Ago by the Stones.

Year 2057, London

In another lifetime, he’d been a pirate king. Of all the lives, he’d seen himself living yet, this was one of the roughest and most unforgiving ones. It was also one of the most beautiful and tragic ones at the same time. There had been so much fighting, so much pain in this world. But there also had been love. Nassau had always seemed like a place of freedom in those times, but ultimately, it had cost him everything. 

So, when he put the little electronic device at his temple that would allow him to leave this current world, his current, actual lifetime, for five hours a week, by now it wasn’t Nassau anymore where he’d be going to. What use would it have? You could only re-live each lifetime once, all the good memories he had of Nassau already happened and he couldn’t have them for a second time. When he went back now, he’d just be grumpy and disappointed. Addie would be there, still. Although he couldn’t understand why. She didn’t deserve him treating her like that, she deserved so much more that he wasn’t able to give her anymore. Instead he was still pining after a man he could never get back anymore. A man who had loved him dearly, but whom he had hurt quite badly back then. Something he had never been able to fully forgive himself for in that other life, even if Mick seemed to have done so. And now, he could never see him again, at least not in that life in Nassau. 

He’d gone to many of his previous lives by now, but Nassau was the only one so far, where he’d met Mick. He’d lived in so many areas, been a warrior in old Rome, lived as a beggar more than once, saw different British kings come and go, he was a cook one time, an actor another time, he lived in the Rocky Mountains taming wild horses, he fought in WWI. A couple of times he met Addie, was married to her three times, they had children. They mostly lived happy lives then, not like the one in Nassau. Sometimes he also just encountered her and they never really got to know each other. Those were the saddest lifetimes. Because he knew that she was out there, but not with him. 

In all those worlds, all these lives since Nassau, he had been looking for Mick as well. But so far, he hadn’t been lucky enough to find him. Whenever he put on the device that brought him to one of his past lives, which was almost each Saturday or Sunday, he’d be hoping to finally end up somewhere where Mick was as well. He wanted, needed, another chance to meet him. Then he wouldn’t fuck up again, he’d do his best to make it work, he wouldn’t lose him a second time. 

It was Sunday afternoon and he hadn’t used up any of his hours with the past-life regression technology for this week. So, he decided that it was time to try again, maybe end up in another life that he didn’t know yet. When you put on the device, you never knew where it would take you to. Unless you’ve been to a place before. Then you could let your thoughts influence the technology and willingly decide whether to go to a place another time, or never go there again. 

This Sunday, he wasn’t eager to find out how any of his previous lives had gone on from the point he’d left last. Sometimes he did that, though. He’d just check in to the life where he was a cook in the 1960s and married to Addie, just to see if they were still together and if their two kids were alright. This was one of his favorite lives so far, because it was simple, but bright and happy. He was in love and had a beautiful family. It was all he needed in that world. He also had really enjoyed that life in Colorado in the 1880s, because Addie and he had a farm there with horses. Well, at least up to a certain point this had been a good life, because then Addie had died in childbirth and he’d been alone with their baby son. Now, it was too painful to go back there, even if sometimes he wondered what had become of his boy, but he just couldn’t bear it. 

It wasn’t always fun finding out what had happened to you in another life. Oftentimes, he even had died at a young age, of cruel deaths. It was depressing and could easily bring you down, so whenever he ended up learning about a life that hadn’t been too kind to him, he usually chose to leave it be and never go back there again. 

Because it could be dangerous to lose yourself to the past. He’d heard critics of this technology warn that it had turned some people insane already. This technology was only three years old so far - stone-aged by current means of development - but there was a lot of research left to do about it. Generally, everyone thought it was safe enough, though, and so it was used as a kind of entertainment, much like going to the movies decades ago. You just had to buy a device once and then buy a weekly pass to access your past. It wasn’t that expensive, so basically everyone could use it. A lot of people even chose to permanently stay in one of their past lives when they died in the real world, just to keep on “living” for a while longer until they also passed away in that prior life. 

Keith had heard of a new development that still was being tested. There was a city called San Junipero that would allow people to stay there forever, if they passed away. You could also just visit, of course, but if you died in real life, you could pass over to this city, and basically live there forever. He hadn’t been to San Junipero yet, so he didn’t know what to think of it. Maybe he should pay the extra money it cost to test it now. It could be fun after all to see something entirely new. 

Sometimes he thought that he was in too deep with this technology. That he wasted his real life for it. But it was just five hours a week, so what harm could it actually do? Also, he hadn’t met either Addie nor Mick yet in his current lifetime, so why not try to find them in another? He didn’t really think it was a bad thing to do, or that it kept him pining after people that were long dead. For as long as you were in that other prior life, it felt real, even if it ultimately wasn’t. Maybe, one could call it an extension of a real person video game or something of this kind. If he could still differentiate between his previous lives and his actual, current one, everything would be alright. 

So, he pressed a button and some of his virtual money was transferred from his account to get a ticket to test San Junipero. He received an access code in return that he needed to type into his device. Then, he hooked himself up to it and lied down on his couch, closing his eyes. 

Year 2057, San Junipero

The year was the same, but he already knew this before. San Junipero, unlike all the other lifetimes, wasn’t supposed to be a previous one. It was rather a parallel one, a parallel world. As soon as Keith found himself in the crowded streets of this new place, he knew that it was going to be popular. There were so many people around already, how would it be when people could stay forever?   
It was a lovely place though. Even if it was a bigger city, it seemed to have the charm of a small town in some of its districts. It was close to the beach and appeared like a more beautiful, cleaner, friendlier version of L.A. There wasn’t that much traffic around, because there finally was a public transport system that worked perfectly. Everything seemed just perfect there. It was greener, the air was cleaner, the sky bluer than in the real world. The people were friendlier as well. 

Keith didn’t really know the rules for this place. Did people get to buy an apartment or a house there when they first arrived? Did they have to come more often to acquire that right? There were people sitting around on their verandas, children playing in pools in backyards, families having barbecue with their neighbours. Everything seemed peaceful and like out of a dream. Maybe this was the reason since San Junipero was supposed to be some kind of modern paradise. A place that would be forever, that would allow people to stay in contact with late relatives and friends even if they were long gone. You’d forever be as old as you were the day you first came here. When he’d be in San Junipero, Keith would forever be 32 years old, even if decades passed in the real world. However, he wasn’t sure quite yet, if he’d like to stay there forever. So far, he hadn’t seen a single familiar soul and he couldn’t imagine spending eternity alone. Then it probably would be better to just be lost to the void for good. Or he could still make new friends here as an alternative…

The first few hours of his stay in San Junipero were pretty much uneventful. He wandered the streets for a while, then went down to the beach and just lay in the white sand. The sun was about to set over the ocean soon and he knew that there was only less than an hour left until his time was up for this week. A few meters away from him, a couple sat down onto the warm white sand and when looking closer, Keith recognized them. He’d seen them before twice. Once in Nassau, once in the 1960s at his restaurant. It was Ron Wood and his girlfriend Elisa. Or at least those were their names in Nassau, because sometimes the people he met throughout his lifetimes were named a little differently. In Nassau, his name had been Keith Richard, though his actual name was Keith Richards. When he met Addie in the 1960s, her name was actually Adelaide, although he had first gotten to know her as Adison. 

For a moment, he observed the couple he’d known as Ron and Elisa and smiled a regretful smile, seeing them that happy. In Nassau, both of them had met an untimely end. He was glad that at least here, in San Junipero, they’d finally found their peace. At the same time, it hurt looking at them, because he hadn’t met any of his soulmates yet, so he decided to leave the beach. The time was almost up now anyway, he’d be back to reality any minute.

Just as he was walking back to the boardwalk, something, better said someone, caught his eye. His auburn hair was a little shorter than when he had last seen him lifetimes ago, just the way he had been wearing it when they had first met, both boys of seventeen years. Keith also recognised his slim statue, his delicate facial features, his way of moving. There was absolutely no question that this man wandering around all by himself, apparently deeply lost in his thoughts, was the man he’d got to know as Mick Jagger all these centuries ago. But before he could do anything else, before he could even decide what to do, he felt that familiar ache in his temples, and the next time he blinked he was back in his living room in London. 

One week later, London

“What do you mean I’ve used up my monthly time?”, Keith called, exasperated. He was sitting on his bed Sunday morning, talking to his device. 

“It means that you cannot buy another access code for San Junipero within another three weeks”, a female voice explained to him. 

“But why? I’ve got a right to a five-hour access each week!”, he complained, not understanding the problem, fairly aware that he was being annoyed at a computer at the other end of the line. Though, through the years those artificial voices actually had improved a great deal and by now you could barely differentiate anymore whether you were talking to an actual human being or not. 

“San Junipero is still in a beta phase. For as long as it’s being tested, every customer is just allowed to buy an access code once a month”, the female voice explained to him calmly. 

“Well, you could at least put this info into one of your ads, couldn’t you?”, Keith sighed and just hung up. 

This wasn’t fair at all. Now, he’d finally found Mick again, for the first time in over three hundred years and there was no chance he could see him before next month. It was ridiculous. You might think that after all these years, Keith would have learned to wait, to be patient, but no, it wasn’t all those years. He hadn’t been looking for him for three hundred years, actually. The first time he tried that technology was in 2055, about two years ago. He might have re-lived centuries of his lifetime, but in truth he’d just spent a couple hours each weekend in those other lives. 

But this was different, San Junipero was something entirely else. It wasn’t a long-gone life that he could go to and see what happened there. San Junipero happened in real time. Sure, you always stayed the same age when in that other world, but time still passed. Three years from now, when it would be 2060 in the real world, in San Junipero it would be 2060 as well. Keith would actually be 35 by then, in San Junipero he’d be 32 forever. San Junipero meant that people who went there now, actually were alive right now. They were somewhere in this world, still alive. Sure, within no time there would be a lot of people there who were dead, but their percentage was only 2% so far, according to the ad, since this was still a test phase. 

So, there was a really huge chance that Mick, since he’d been in San Junipero last week, now actually was around somewhere, alive and breathing. And Keith wanted to go back there to see him again so badly. He barely had got a good look at him the weekend before. It was basically in his last few seconds there that he’d spotted him. Actually, he started to doubt himself a little. What if it hadn’t even been Mick? What if his mind had been playing him tricks, just because he hoped to find him again so badly? No. He was fairly certain that it had been him. It could only have been him, he knew him. 

How should he survive not being able to see him for three whole weeks, when he knew exactly well that he was out there somewhere? He just had to go back to San Junipero and talk to him. Figure out where he was in the real world. Then maybe they could meet for real. Maybe he finally could meet one of his soulmates in real life. 

Three weeks later, London

The first thing Keith did when waking up that morning, was checking his device to find out whether he could buy another access code for San Junipero. It worked and he got his code within a few seconds. He was tempted to go there right that moment, but he had some errands to run and chores to do first. Running errands and doing chores in 2057 meant telling your smart devices what to do and checking if they all still worked well or needed an update. So, within an hour everything was done and once more Keith thanked all the tech gods for their brilliant achievements because as a person who had experienced life in different centuries, the actual one was by far the most convenient and comfortable. 

When everything was done and he’d listened to a few hologram messages from friends and replied to them, he took his device and lay down on the couch. Just by pressing a few buttons he was back in San Junipero within moments.

San Junipero

If he was being honest, he had no plan where he should start looking. This city was too big. It was a wonder he’d even seen Mick the first time. Walking down to the beach once more, he tried not to panic. What if he’d chosen the wrong day, the wrong time? It was Saturday noon. What if Mick decided to get here Saturday evening or Sunday afternoon? Why didn’t he think about this some more before? He definitely should have come here again Sunday afternoon or evening, because this was when Mick had been there as well the last time. 

Also, what if Mick didn’t even remember him? What if he’d never been back to his lifetime in Nassau yet? What if he just didn’t know who he was? The closer he got the ocean, the less hopeful he got. There were just too many variables in this equation. It wasn’t as easy as he’d thought it would be. It was far from easy, actually. Maybe he would spent months, years, just trying to find Mick again there. What if he hadn’t liked it the last time and decided not to come back? What if Keith finally found him and then he wouldn’t remember? After all, you couldn’t just ask a perfect stranger where they were actually living in the real world and if they wanted to meet you. 

Down at the beach there was no sign of Mick. But he spotted Ron and Elisa walking along, bare feet in the wet sand. Should he dare to go over there and talk to them? Maybe they knew Mick. Maybe they didn’t know Keith and thought he was being silly. Either way, he didn’t want to spend the rest of his five hours here just wandering around alone, so he just went over there. 

“Hey there”, he said, smiling a little, hoping they did remember. Both looked at him curiously, but only Ron had the flicker of recognition in his eyes. 

“Hi”, Elisa returned, smiling as well. 

“You’re Keith Richard”, Ron exclaimed, a little baffled. 

“Well, technically I’m Keith Richards now, but yeah…”

“I’m sorry, I just...never...I’ve been to Nassau a couple times recently. I didn’t think I’d see anyone from there...here”, Ron explained and shook his hand. 

“I’m Ronnie, this is Ellie”, he introduced the two of them. 

“You’ve met before?”, Elisa, who was actually named Ellie, wanted to know. 

“Yeah, yeah, I told you about Nassau, right? He was a pirate as well”, he told her as they were just standing there, still curiously eyeing each other. 

“Oh, yes, that dreadful life where you were hung at gallows? It seemed horrible”, Ellie commented.

“Actually, you were quite powerful there”, Keith recalled. 

“I haven’t been there yet, wondering when this will happen”, she returned, shrugging. 

“So...you guys met here, or…?”, Keith inquired. 

“Noo, we know each other in real life. This is just a weekend trip”, Ellie explained, laughing. 

“We’re just looking around a bit, seeing how things are here”, Ronnie agreed. 

“Yeah, it’s quite nice, much nicer and cheaper than driving somewhere for real”, Ellie meant. 

“What are you doing here, also exploring?”, Ronnie wanted to know then. 

He seemed much nicer than he was in Nassau, then again, he was a pirate back then and so was Keith. He did some horrible things himself in that other life and the person he was now had nothing to do with the person he was back then. He was a data analyst now, the only kind of pirating he got in contact with, was if people illegally downloaded stuff that didn’t belong to them. 

“Yeah...but actually I was looking for someone. Do you remember Mick?”, Keith asked. 

“That guy who used to be in the royal navy?”, Ronnie guessed and Keith just nodded, while Ellie looked a little lost. 

It was weird how Ellie just seemed to be that sweet little pure thing without a clue what she had done, what she had built, in that other lifetime. Yet again, Keith reminded himself, that he knew nothing about her, he didn’t know what she did in her real life. They were just strangers talking on a beach. 

“I’m...last week when I was here, I saw him. But then my time was up and I couldn’t get a chance to talk to him. So, have you seen him around, maybe?”, he wanted to know. 

“No, sorry. But you’ve seen him here? Man, I’d love to get a chance to talk to him too”, Ronnie said and seemed excited about that prospect. 

“You do remember that the two of you didn’t get along that well”, Keith mentioned, suppressing a laugh at the memory. 

“Well...that was centuries ago", Ronnie gave back smugly. 

"But...maybe he doesn’t remember. Maybe he hasn’t been to Nassau yet”, Keith mused. 

“I mean I haven’t either”, Ellie threw in. 

“So...if we see him around, should we just talk to him? Tell him you’re looking for him?”, Keith asked. 

“No, I mean...sure, go talk to him. Make friends with him, whatever. But first try to find out if he remembers, otherwise, just assuming that he knows about all of this when actually he actually doesn’t would be a bit too weird”, he explained. 

“That sounds about logical”, Ronnie commented. 

“So, uhm...will you be here again next month?”, Keith inquired. 

“Yeah, sure. I mean have you been here?! It’s brilliant!”, the other man said, laughing. 

“Let our devices get in contact, shall we? Then we can let each other know when we’ll be around again”, Elisa - no, Ellie - suggested. 

“That’s a great idea. So, I guess I’ll see you around”, Keith meant. 

“Sure. Then we can tell you if we met Mick”, Ronnie returned. 

“Thanks, have a good time”, he said by way of goodbye. 

The two of them also said their goodbyes and then continued strolling down the beach. 

Keith had another couple of hours left and decided to further explore the city. Maybe he could get something to eat or have a milkshake somewhere, it was a bit after noon and starting to get rather hot now. 

He was walking down a street with restaurants at both sides, deciding where to go and have a meal, when he saw him sitting in a café, reading a book. He almost laughed about it. Of course, Mick or whatever his name was now, still was a sucker for books. Some things apparently never changed. 

Without even thinking about it, Keith stepped inside the café and sat down at a table a few meters away from Mick. He first wanted to observe him a little. Figure out if he maybe recognised him, should he look up and see him. So, he ordered a vanilla milkshake and tried to act as inconspicuous as possible. 

When their eyes finally met, Keith’s heart almost skipped a beat. It was him. And he remembered. For some quiet moments, they were just staring at each other, neither able to say a word. Keith’s mouth had turned so dry that he wasn’t even sure he would be able to say something at all and he could feel goosebumps all over his body. Then, finally, Mick lay down his book, probably long forgotten on which side he had stopped reading. 

“Keith”, he said, his voice choked and Keith was sure that he could see tears in his eyes. 

“You remember”, was all he could return, before he was up on his feet without even realising what he was doing. A second later they were embracing closely and he couldn’t stop a few of his own tears from rolling down his cheeks. 

“Of course, I do remember you”, Mick said, when they finally let go of each other and then both sat down at the table where he’d been sitting before. 

“I wasn’t sure...maybe you haven’t seen Nassau yet”, Keith gave back, not able to take his eyes off of him as if he feared he was just imagining him. 

It was the weirdest thing he had ever experienced. He knew that he was in love with this man, at least the man Mick had been. Yet he knew absolutely nothing about the person sitting at the other side of that table. And all he knew about Mick had happened centuries ago, in another lifetime. 

“I barely remember anything but…”, Mick returned quietly. “I’ve been to a lot of lives. And once I thought I spotted you in a crowd somewhere in London, but then you were gone...I went back to that Nassau life a lot after we parted ways there. But we never met again. I've met some others...but you, I never met you again”, Mick told, not able to look Keith directly in the eye for some reason. 

“What's your real name?” 

“Weirdly enough, my real name actually is Michael Jagger...like back then”, he gave back, chuckling a little. It felt like an inside joke of the universe. 

“I’m Keith Richards, actually”, he offered in return and grinned at Mick. 

“Listen, I...my time’s up in a few minutes, Keith”, Mick said then, still avoiding looking him in the eyes again. 

“Where are you living? I could come meet you?”, Keith suggested. 

“It’s not that easy”, the other meant, shaking his head a little. 

“Why not?”, he wanted to know because he didn’t really see the problem. 

“There’s no time for this now, I’m sorry”, Mick said, suppressing a sigh. 

“Then, when is?”, Keith kept on asking. 

“Will you be here next month?”, Mick asked back instead of answering. 

“I can’t wait a whole month for you. Let’s just connect devices?”, Keith suggested, almost desperately now. 

“I can’t”, was the only answer he got. 

“Why?” 

“It’s just not possible”, Mick returned, ready to get up. 

“Yeah it is, I did with Ron and Elisa just before I met you!” 

“Keith, please...look at me”, Mick said, finally meeting his eyes again. Keith could see uncertainty looking back at him. 

“There is no time to explain yet, it’s too complicated. I need to leave soon. Will we meet again next month?”, Mick asked, looking at him almost pleadingly now. 

Keith didn’t understand this at all. Why wasn’t it possible to connect devices? What was Mick playing here? Why was he acting all weird like that? Wasn’t he more curious and happy to have the chance to get in contact with him in real life? 

“Okay, I’ll be here”, he finally agreed.

The last thing he saw of Mick, before he disappeared into nothingness, was him nodding and smiling. There hadn’t been any time left for him to reply, or even tell him goodbye. For some odd moments, Keith felt empty, as if he’d just lost something, although he probably should feel content, because he had managed to find Mick again. 

The same day, London

When Keith opened his eyes again in his flat in London a few hours later, his device told him that it now had been connected to Ellie’s and Ronnie’s. He didn’t really know how this worked, because he’d never tried it before, but he’d long ago accepted that all the technology he was using, probably was way smarter than 99% of human beings around. 

“How do I connect to someone’s device?”, he asked his own while walking over to the kitchen to make some coffee. 

“Please name the place and time of your encounter with the other client as well as their name to make it possible for us to build a connection”, the well-known female voice answered. 

“San Junipero, 1pm, Michael Jagger”, Keith tried. 

“I’m sorry, we are unable to connect you to this device”, the computer replied. 

“Why?”

“The recipient’s device is not enabled to take on connections”, came the answer. 

Keith sighed and threw his device onto the kitchen table. Why did Mick have to be like this? Why was he behaving so strangely, what were his reasons? Why didn’t he want to be contacted? There clearly were too many questions and no answers. And why was there always too little time to spend? How should he wait a whole month until he could finally see him again and try to get some answers out of him? Hell, he didn’t even know when exactly to go to San Junipero next. Should he meet him at the same time, or maybe in the evening? Everything about this was way too intransparent for his likes. 

There was nothing at all he could do, he knew that. Wracking his brains about it would do no good. Maybe Mick had freaked out at the perspective of having found him and the only reaction he could think of was keeping him at distance for now. When thinking about it this way, he even did understand it a little. It was pretty much insane. The possibilities this technology offered were worth freaking out about. Just five years back, nobody would even have imagined such things. Nobody would even have dared to think this possible. Now it was reality and people had almost gotten used to it. But it still was a little frightening. 

One month later, San Junipero

He’d decided to go to the café he met Mick the last time on Saturday morning. It had been the most logical option for him, so he ordered a cappuccino and a croissant and waited. 

Outside, the weather was sunny as always and people were passing by on the streets, while around him other patrons of the café were eating their breakfast, chatting, reading papers. It seemed incredibly real and incredibly normal, if he didn’t know better, he wouldn’t have believed that in truth, all of this just happened in his mind. Technology was a strange, a crazy thing. He was sensing, smelling and tasting everything as if it actually was there, as if all of it was happening for real. When in reality, every single person here was sitting somewhere else all over the country, hooked up to their devices. 

Keith didn’t have to wait too long, just half an hour after he’d entered the café, Mick showed up, an obligatory book under his arm. 

“Hi”, he greeted him, sounding a little breathless. 

“You came”, Keith returned, almost in wonder, staring at him as if he was going to disappear again at each moment. 

Then he got up and hugged him, maybe to make sure he was there. Mick hugged him back firmly and he wished that this wasn’t just happening here, in San Junipero. That this was something they could do in the real world. Maybe soon. 

“I tried to connect to your device, you know”, Keith meant, trying not to sound accusing. 

“I didn’t enable that function”, Mick just gave back, ordering a black coffee. 

“Why not?”

“I can’t”, just came the very enlightening answer. 

“Just ask your device to do so?”, he suggested. 

“No, you don’t understand…I cannot do it”, Mick said and Keith still wasn’t any wiser than before. 

“What are you talking about?”, he asked, dumbfounded. 

“Just that…it’s not possible for me to see you now. I mean in real life”, Mick returned, sounding a little desperate now. 

“Yeah, but why not? What’s your problem? Would you maybe just talk to me?”, Keith fired at him. 

“I don’t want you to see me like that”, Mick said without looking at him.

“Like what? Mick, please. Why won’t you just tell me what’s up with you?”, Keith nearly begged him now and then he almost bumped over his cup of cappuccino, having a horrible thought. “You…you aren’t…you aren’t one of the dead, are you? You aren’t dead?”, he asked, eyes wide in horror. 

“Not really…”

“What in god’s name does that mean? And what does it even mean you don’t want me to see you like that? You remember Nassau, right?!”, he almost screamed at him now. 

“I lost my fucking eye and I wouldn’t let anyone see me without the eye patch ever…ever. But you…you never cared about that. You never…you never thought it made me weak or ugly, you never made me feel like I needed it to prove myself. You just didn’t care about things like that. And only then I did so neither. Do you honestly think that I would think any less of you seeing you in any condition that you believed inferior?”

“Even if you saw me for real…we wouldn’t be able to communicate…I wouldn’t…I couldn’t even react to you…”, Mick meant, confusing Keith even more.

“Could you just please tell me what all of this means?”

“I’m in a coma, Keith…”, Mick finally admitted, looking away quickly, but he’d already seen the tears swimming in his blue eyes. 

“You…what?”, Keith gasped at him, speechless. He’d expected anything but that. 

“What happened?”

“I don’t feel comfortable talking about it. Please, Keith…don’t you understand? This…right here, San Junipero. This is all we’ve got now. I don’t want to spend our time trying to explain what I cannot even put in words. I don’t want to argue any longer. We found each other, here. Can’t this be enough for now?”, Mick explained, sounding pained. 

“Will you tell me what happened one day, though?”

“Maybe.”

“Will you survive this?”, Keith kept on asking, feeling nauseous. 

“There is no way to tell”, Mick just meant, making Keith a little angry. Why couldn’t he just give him straight-forward answers for once? 

“But I can’t lose you another time”, he said, sounding desperate. 

“I will be here”, Mick tried to calm him, putting a hand on his arm and pressing it lightly. 

“You don’t understand…this isn’t real!”, Keith all but exclaimed and some of the other patrons turned their heads towards them. He just threw them angry glares. 

“It is as real as we want it to be”, Mick said, pressing his arm again. 

“But I want you, not the imagination of you!”, he complained and Mick wasn’t able to reply anything to that for the moment. 

“Could I come visit?”, Keith asked after some quiet seconds. 

Three months and two weeks later, London

It had taken three more trips to San Junipero to finally persuade Mick to let Keith come see him for real. He’d had to affirm him like two dozen times that he wouldn’t be shocked, or appalled, or even repulsed at the sight of him motionless and unconscious in some hospital bed. Which Keith thought was a little silly, because he would never have any of these feelings towards Mick. 

Yet, he still was somewhat nervous, but more even sad, because he never imagined that it would be like that. When they first met for real. He’d imagined dozens of different scenarios for this moment, but the one happening now hadn’t been among them. 

He was being led into a white, sterile hospital room with many beeping instruments and cables connected to the pale man lying in the bed, spotting hollow cheeks. This wasn’t the Mick he’d met in San Junipero. It was but a shadow of the man he’d gotten to know better and better during their monthly talks in that little café. 

Keith sat down on a chair next to the bed and pressed Mick’s pale hand. This wasn’t fair at all. Life just sucked. Finally, he’d found his soulmate in the real world and then he couldn’t even talk to him. The doctors weren’t allowed to tell him what had happened, so he still didn’t know how Mick had ended up like this.

“Do you think you could hook us up to a San Junipero access for five minutes?”, he asked a nurse through a speaker after a while. He couldn’t stand just sitting around here, so close to Mick, and yet so far away from him. There was no other way for them to communicate but this. 

“You’ve both been there just two weeks ago”, the nurse explained. 

“I just need to talk to him, please. It won’t be long, I promise”

“Okay, fine. Five minutes, alright?”, the nurse replied and a few minutes later she came in with a special access code and two impersonal hospital devices. 

“Is that why I cannot connect to him?”, he asked, taking the device offered to him.

“Yeah, they need to be personalised. Those are just for treatment. We believe it to be beneficial for our coma patients to be able to have access to San Junipero. Maybe it helps them heal”, the nurse explained, hooking Mick up to his device. 

“Thanks”, Keith said, before she left the room again. 

San Junipero

They were sitting on the fine, warm sand, staring out onto the ocean. It was another sunny afternoon and a refreshing breeze was nuzzling at their hair. 

“I just…wanted you to know that I’m there, you know. I’ll be there for you. I’ll wait for you”, he started, letting some sand run through his hands. 

“You don’t owe me this, Keith”, Mick gave back, turning his head to look at him. 

"But I do, Mick. I do...what happened back in Nassau...I'm so, so sorry. We never talked about this so far. But I'm so sorry for what I did to you when we met on that ship…", Keith started rambling but Mick stopped him by pressing his shoulder lightly.

"It's fine now...that was another life. It wasn't you...well...not who you really are now", Mick assured him. “And we’ll have San Junipero. Once a month”, he added. 

“I know. It has to do for now”, he gave back, sighing. 

“What if it isn’t just for now?”, Mick wanted to know. 

“I have faith”, Keith just said. 

“Will it be enough for you?”, Mick still wanted to know. 

Keith sighed anew, still letting the sand run through his fingers, not looking at Mick. There wasn’t that much time left anymore. They’d be back to reality each minute now. 

“I’m in love with you”, he admitted, finally looking at him. “If this is all we get, then it will be enough for me.”

He’d barely finished when Mick put his hand to his neck and pulled him closer until their lips finally met. This was the first time they kissed in an eternity and if they weren’t already sitting, it probably would have knocked him off his feet because it was amazingly perfect. It was tender at first, then a little fiercer, and all the time desperate, but with a promise for something better, something more. Maybe something real, one day. 

Three days later, London 

Keith had just returned home from work that day, when he received a hologram call that he hadn’t expected at all. It was the nurse from the hospital Mick was at, who had given them the five-minute access codes. 

“...he woke up from the coma an hour ago! We never expected this to happen this soon. There were barely any signs that it was going to happen. He literally just woke up. And has been asking for you ever since”, she reported to him in an excited voice, a beaming smile on her face.

Keith could hardly believe what he was hearing, it was incredible. Mick had woken from the coma. It hadn’t taken him some other weeks or months, it had only taken him mere days. Which was like a wonder. 

“Can I come see him?”, he wanted to know, still unable to comprehend it completely. He would really see Mick for the first time soon. Not just an imagination of him in San Junipero. He would finally be able to talk to him for real. The prospect of this made his legs shake a little and he had to take a seat in order to not tumble. 

“Give him some time. We need to do a list of checks. But you’re welcome to send a hologram”, the nurse suggested. 

“But when can I see him?”, he needed to know. To be honest, it was quite hard for him not to just call a passenger drone that would take him to the hospital right now. 

“Tomorrow will be alright to visit. For now a hologram will be fine”, she explained. 

“Okay, thank you”, he said. “Could you re-connect me to him?” 

Her hologram disappeared from his screen and a moment later, Mick appeared, sitting in his bed. 

“Hi there”, Mick took in the call and smiled at him widely. His cheeks were still hollow, obviously, but it was so good to see him up and moving. 

“Hi”, Keith returned, almost at a loss for words. It was incredible. “you’re awake”, he commented needlessly, grinning like an idiot. 

“I am”, Mick affirmed. 

“How are you?” 

“Well, feeling a little weak here, I couldn’t exactly do anything for the past half a year”, Mick joked. 

“You’re still looking fine”, Keith tried, feeling a sob at the back of his throat. This was just too much. 

“You don’t have to make me feel better”, Mick gave back, and Keith could swear he also had tears in his eyes. 

“They tell me I can see you tomorrow”, Keith said, swallowing down his tears. He wouldn’t start sobbing like a baby now. This was a happy occasion. 

“I’m so excited to see you”, Mick admitted, almost smiling coyly now.

“Me either”, Keith said, smiling back through the holo-call. 

The next day, London 

He’d called a passenger drone first thing the next morning and just a while later, he was standing in front of Mick's hospital room, mouth dry, hands sweaty, heart pounding in his chest. They’d talked for another while via holos the day before, until Mick finally seemed too exhausted and a nurse disconnected them. But this was different. Now, he would finally see him for real for the very first time in the real world and be able to interact with him. Not just in San Junipero. He swallowed to get rid of the dry feeling in his mouth and then knocked at the door lightly before entering.

“Hi there”, he said, smiling when seeing that Mick was sitting up, a book in his lap.

“Keith”, Mick returned, a little smile spreading on his still pale face.

He took the few steps over to the bed and then hugged him lightly, afraid he could hurt him in any way. Mick was still too weak to even put up both of his arms to try and embrace him back.

“I’m…still pretty much useless”, he explained and it almost sounded like an excuse as Keith had taken a seat and took his hand into his.

“It’s okay, you’ll be alright”, he said and pressed his hand lightly. “You’re awake, that’s what matters.”

“I can’t really believe that you’re here. For real, I mean”, Mick said, curiously looking at him as if he’d disappear again each moment.

“Well, I’m not leaving, unless you want me too or a nurse is throwing me out”, he joked and made Mick smile a little.

“I don’t want you to leave.”

“Good”, Keith returned, grinning.

"You're even more handsome than I remembered…", Mick whispered then, making Keith blush. 

"Well, I've got both of my eyes", he tried to joke off how flustered he was and made Mick laugh lightly. 

“You brought me back, you know”, Mick admitted next. “A few days back in San Junipero…when you told me…you brought me back.”

“That was my intention”, Keith replied, smugly. “I didn’t want to have to go to San Junipero each month to meet you.”

“No, I mean it…and I didn’t have the time to tell you then, but…I’m in love with you, too”, Mick admitted and it made Keith’s heart pound faster. For a moment, he could do nothing but sit there and probably grin like an idiot.

“Come here”, Mick said, patting lightly on the free space next to him. Keith understood and kicked off his shoes, carefully climbing onto the bed next to Mick. Then he laid an arm around him, pulling him into his chest and pressed a soft kiss to his temple. Mick turned towards him a little more and captured his lips in a soft kiss.

“I’ve wanted this since Nassau”, Keith mumbled and made Mick chuckle, as he wrapped his arms closer around him, keeping him safe. This time, in this life, Keith swore to himself, he wouldn't hurt him, wouldn't let any harm come upon him.


End file.
